Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category

Fear, Courage and Change

People fear transition, yet it’s part of every big change. We avoid the feelings that accompany it, yet part of us genuinely wants that transformation. How do you handle this dichotomy of the desire to change and the fear of it?

We live in a society that expresses itself often in terms of “either-or.” What if your life could be “either-and?”

What if you could accept that there are no easy answers to what big things are possible? What if you could simply embrace All the possibilities that lie in wait for you, rather than fight the temptations? Perhaps there are possibilities that you cannot even fathom at the moment.

“Accept” sounds easy, and yet it requires a strong commitment to being awake to What Is. That is easier said than done for a lot of people.

If you really want that change in your heart of hearts, are you willing to sit with your desire to change and your fear of it at the same time? Are you willing to be uncomfortable with your fear, look it straight in the eye, and then embrace it? Are you willing to be with the feelings and emotions that arise, along with the habitual thinking that created your fear in the first place? Are you willing to tell the truth about it?

When you embrace the fright – whether it’s the fear of change, snakes, public speaking, heights, or any other fear – when you become one with it, it loses its power. You come to know the fear as a great teacher and your courage begins to replace it.

The Cowardly Lion in the “Wizard of Oz” is a great teacher. He didn’t realize he had both fear and courage at the same time. Perhaps that “either-and” concept may have helped him on his path down the yellow brick road.

Want a tip? Try carrying both dichotomous emotions along with you as friends and teachers today. See what you notice. You may end up being even closer to the change you desired in the first place.

A Statement That Gently Jolted Me

In the 1980’s I worked with people who were infected with or affected by AIDS. Back then, we didn’t use the term “HIV.”

I shared with Gwynne, my astrologer, some of the stress I was feeling. It energized me to be making a difference for so many people, yet it also contributed to my fatigue. Between the work itself and the governmental/societal attitudes at the time, my work seemed to be never-ending.

Gwynne simply looked at me and said, “Janet, the amount of energy you have to give to everyone else is directly proportionate to the amount of energy you give to yourself.”

She gave me permission to take some time for myself so that I would have more to give others. Gwynne continued that there would always be a need to raise more money, awareness and consciousness than the country was ready to face at the time. And she was right.

I appreciated having someone in my life who cared enough to tell it to me straight. To suggest that I had permission to place my own needs above others for a brief time, and that as I did that, my work would become even more effective.

I was grateful for her bold support, for the wisdom she brought to the table when I couldn’t even see it at the moment.

As I coach others, I try to bring a little wisdom to people as they deal with their own issues. I am blessed to have had such a good teacher in my life. Thanks, Gwynne!

What words of wisdom did someone share with you that helped you to wake up?

With both Thanksgiving and World AIDS Day right around the corner, for what are you grateful?

Becoming Unplugged…

I’ve been thinking about becoming unplugged since last Friday night, while we were at a Family Retreat at Greene Family Camp in Bruceville, Texas.

The camp director challenged us to turn off our cell phones and electronic devices as part of a 24-hour event called the National Day of Unplugging, sponsored by the Foundation for Jewish Camp and One Happy Camper. At first, an expression of shock appeared on the sea of adult faces throughout the dining hall. As Loui held his phone high in the air and turned it off, I joined most of the adults who followed his lead. “It’s only 24 hours,” I convinced myself in order to participate.

The gifts that came from that simple act were amazing. I thought of many friends who observe their Sabbath on Saturday or Sunday and refuse to work that day.

I thought of how dependent we become on our electronics, and I vowed not to turn on my phone.

Joy Climbing Alpine Tower

During that retreat, I treated myself to the freedom of spending quality time with my family and with myself. I engaged in lively conversations with people from Texas and Oklahoma, and participated in workshops that challenged both my mind and my spirit. I didn’t miss my phone, my apps, or my email. On Sunday, I continued the tradition.

I watched my daughter with pride as she played daredevil on the zip line and climbed to the top of the Alpine Tower. She has enough courage for both of us, and I’m amazed at her enjoyment of those activities. Mostly, I was proud that she invited me to join her. I might not have noticed that if I was distracted by my business. And I’m proud of myself for prioritizing my family without interruption last weekend.

So what are your priorities? And what do you need to unplug? I want to hear from you. Please post a comment.

I’ve Been Wondering… about great teachers

In the 1980’s and early 1990’s I worked with people who were infected with and affected by AIDS and the virus that caused it. Back then, they didn’t use the term “HIV.”

I shared with Gwynne about the importance of my work. It energized me to be making a difference for so many people, yet it also contributed to my fatigue. Between the work itself and the governmental/societal attitudes at the time, my work seemed to be never-ending.   And then she gently jolted me with one sentence.  (Oxymoron intended.)

Gwynne simply looked at me and said, “Janet, the amount of energy you have to give to everyone else is directly proportionate to the amount of energy you give to yourself.”

Snoqualmie Falls 990
Snoqualmie Falls, WA

She gave me permission to take some time for myself so that I would have more to give others. Gwynne continued that there would always be a need to raise more money, awareness and consciousness than the country was ready to face at the time. And she was right. 

I learned that I appreciated having someone in my life who cared enough to tell it to me straight. To suggest that I had permission to place my own needs above others for a brief time, and that as I did that, my work would become even more effective.  I was grateful for her bold support, for the wisdom she brought to the table when I couldn’t even see it at the moment.

 

As I coach, I try to bring a little wisdom to people as they deal with their own issues. I am blessed to have had such a good teacher in my life. Thanks, Gwynne!

Who gently jolted you, and what did they say that made a difference in your life?

A Moment of Pride

I’ve been wondering…

How often do you feel a moment of pride and forget to mention it to anyone, especially the person you are feeling it about?

With Memorial Day just yesterday, I’ve been pausing to remember. Not only those who have gone before us to fight for our freedom, but those who live with us every day, inspiring us to be all we can.

Today I am proud of Georgia Sherrod, my daughter’s fifth grade Language Arts teacher. She inspired the children to write a fairy tale for four yeJoy's book is in front of the winning pile.ar olds. Her students became authors and illustrators on this project, both in and out of class. A large part of their grades this quarter depends on their work.

In the spring, when so many teachers are winding down after “the test,” Mrs. Sherrod fired up her students to try something creative. She did it at a time when the weather warms up, when the days are sunny, and when the kids would rather be outside than doing homework. She pushed the envelope and got great results. In my book, she gets the award for Best Teacher as well as the award for Best Role Model for Other Teachers.

And yes, I am proud that my daughter, Joy, wrote one of the seven winning books that will be given to the four year old class library. (Believe me, it was hard to stay out of her project. At most, I asked her to check the spelling on a couple of words, hung out with her while she glued her pages down, and formatted the page so it would print correctly for the size of the book.)

Joy did a terrific job. At age 11, she formulated the story line, the conflict, the resolution, the color. She “owned” the project as hers, and it shows in the results of her work. Look for copies of The Quest of the Missing Gem sometime in the future.  She’s got some talent!  And yes, I’ve told her how proud I am of her. 

So, I wonder… who have you forgotten to tell that you’re proud, or that you remember something that mattered to you? 

I’d like to hear your stories, too.

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